Ever since this post the other day,I have felt like I was disloyal to Ruby,it was very emotional for me to answer that question.I love Ruby with all of my being.She is a wonderful baby and I enjoy every second God gives me with her,I love everything about her.I choose never to answer the question of "Would you take away the Down syndrome if you could?" I can't change it so I choose never to answer that question again.I love my baby.
8 comments:
You shouldn't be so hard on yourself or feel like you were being disloyal. All you were doing was being a loving parent hoping you could make your daughters life easier, I think we would all wish that for our kids. I think it's an unfair question to ask us mothers as of course we would want any of our kids lives to be easier and to take all the obstacles out of their way, so don't be so hard on yourself, you are just wishing the best for you child and you are a great Mother.
Wise choice!What really matters is that you LOVE your Ruby for who she IS. Trust me when I tell you that Ruby can FEEL how much you love her and that's all she needs. :)
Cheryl, I think you are a wonderful mother and a great advocate for your BEAUTIFUL Ruby!
God Bless you both ~
Don't beat yourself up over your answer. While I think Stephanie answered exactly the way I feel (on the original post), we all know you are not ashamed of your precious girl! Hold your head up high, girl!
Yeah, don't be too hard on yourself! For one thing everyone has a right to their own opinion. Secondly the question is simply not fair because like you said we don't have a choice. You have been loyal to your daughter because you answered that silly question in the way you felt that would be best for her, not yourself. (As did the other mothers.) That is as loyal as it gets, looking out for your child first, in the manner you feel is best. This life brings us many challenges, and you seemed to be facing this one head on, so way to go!
I personally didn't answer the original question, nor will I. I do, however, respect everyone's right to what they think on the matter. I hope they all respect yours too.
WOW! Who wouldn't know that you LOVE Ruby!!!
On WDSD on Sat. I wrote a post about many on both sides of the fence talking about this subject. I also told my feeling for Jonathan and why. I neve read the post you did about your feelings or Ruby. I think this is a "very" personal question and at times can be very hard to answer, at 10 years it doesn't come easy.
Blessing to you and your sweet family!
Personally, I feel every one of us have our own way of working through the idea of having a child with Down syndrome. I often wonder how harder it would be for me to accept Gabriel having Down syndrome if I had had typical children before him. I often wonder if I would be more accepting of the ignorance I encounter from strangers (and non-strangers, too!) if I had had more children.
The one thing I think is a common thread for all of us -- we love our children because they are our own children. We all want the best for them -- and sometimes that means different things for different people.
I would hope that on my deathbed, no matter what my innermost hopes and fears have been about Gabriel in this life, I could rest knowing that I loved him fiercely no matter what and I did the absolute best for him.
I know the same speaks from your heart. You're a wonderful mother, with a loving and full family -- Ruby will never know anything else.
Hugs to you!
Some of us know you personally, and others of us (like me) do not. But we all love you...and we love Ruby, too! If we all felt and said the same things what would be the point of blogging about how we think and feel? Everything we share with one anther is significant and means so much.
You need to allow yourself to "feel"....I felt the same as you when Megan was a baby, time does wonders to your soul....don't feel disloyal at all, you are a wonderful mom to Ruby and not only are you blessed to have Ruby but she is blessed to have you too, don't forget that!
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