Tuesday, February 3, 2009


My husband went Saturday and signed up my 14,9,7,and 5 year old daughters for soccer.We missed last soccer season because of the birth of Ruby.(We weren't sure what medical issues Ruby might have and didn't want to commit to anything).
My 7 year old daughter will be on a team with some of the girls she played soccer with before I had Ruby.One of the Mom's and I were pregnant and due about the same time.I'm having a hard time knowing I will have to see this Mom and her baby.I'm worried about the emotions I will have when I see what her baby can do and what Ruby is not doing.Just knowing I would be seeing her reminded me again of my thoughts and expectations of the child I was carrying and that I did not have that child.
I love my little Ruby so much and I don't want other people to feel sorry for me or Ruby,she is such a wonderful baby.
So,I'm not looking forward to soccer but I have a few days to sort through my feelings and deal with them before practices start.Maybe I will be o.k. by then.I already feel a little better just getting it out here.


Monica said...

That can be hard, especially if you put too much emphasis on what others think. I try not to, but I do get sad now and then. I think it's only natural to grieve a bit for what we don't have, but then we need to take a deep breath and realize how rich we are by what we do have. I have a friend whose baby is 3 1/2 months younger and almost walking. My little guy is nowhere ready to walk. You were blessed abundantly with typical children... Ruby will amaze you, too.

Cathy said...

I find myself looking at our youth leaders son at church. He's only 4 months and Lily's 8 months. So far, Lily is obviously older. I know there's going to be a day that I can see "the difference". I think I'm kind of in a warm little cocoon of protection right now. Bottom line though...Lily is doing awesome and I couldn't be prouder of her. I'm sure that's how you feel about Ruby too. Our little ones are amazing gifts from God!

Beverly said...

It is so natural to feel like this, I think we have all had these feelings in the start. You will get to a point where you dont even think about it at all or compare. Ruby is doing great and you are a wonderful Mom! Hope the kids have fun in soccer!

Erin said...

I know exactly how you feel. There were three other babies in our group of friends that were also born in the month of july. It is still hard at times to see those babies doing things Addie cannot, but I just keep reminding myself that Addie will do those things, just on her own time. Good luck and just keep reminding yourself all the things that Ruby can do!

Laura said...

Your sweet Ruby is beautiful, what a gift children are...as you know!

Thanks for stopping by my blog, I'll be back to read more about your family. Elizabeth 16 my oldest just ask well, if they have 11 what are their ages? I said I'm not sure so, we'll be back to see more about your awesome family!